itoocanfeel

"It's About Love"
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or conceited or proud.
Love is not ill mannered or selfish or irritable.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love is not happy with evil but is happy with truth.
Love never gives up because its faith, hope and patience never fail.
Love is eternal.
*I failed.*
Those were the last words to a bleeding heart.
my reply, you did not fail alone, we failed together.

A friendship you have requested,
a friendship I have accepted.
Am I certain we can be friends? That I do not yet know.
We struggle with definitions, yours and mine
at times them being worlds apart.

Based on your last words I dare not call what we had love.
I thought it was, but again I am proven wrong.
as for a friendship, I know not what your definition would be
mine is simple, as arrogant as I have always been
my definition is similar to this:
one who has toward me platonic, pure and honest feelings
with no interest other than a friendship in return.
A rather strict definition as you can see.

A new phase we are entering, its strength's unknown
I will call you a friend for lack of a better word.
I know my definition you do not at the moment fit
but perhaps time that too will change.

I still wish to hear your voice say my name.
I still wish to feel your arms around me.
I still wish to feel your lips on mine.
Will I feel that for an eternity?
I will be only able to tell with time.

I wish to know, I wish to ask
but as you well know I steer away
from questions to which the answers I fear.

I have no name for what we now are
nor do I any longer have one for what I feel
feelings they shall remain
defined only by my tears.

Some of your words I now use
mine seem to be confused and away from them I steer
the one sure thing I am certain of
is that I know I feel ... I feel.

Are we being honest to ourselves?
or are we desperately clinging to what used to be?
I do not have answers, just questions upon questions
Which are your intentions or mine?
Do we wish to revive the past
or do we honestly wish for a new beginning.

Will my desires changes or would my feelings prevail?
will I be one day able to speak your name without my heart melting
will I ever be able to see you and not want your arms around me?
I am truly filled with questions
which a troubled heart and mind cannot answer.
I will make no decisions today
I will make no decisions tomorrow
I will give time for the wounds to heal
for today all I can do is feel.